Catching up & Shows # 36, 37, 38, & 39

Wassup everybody! Yes, I have been neglecting this little missive of mine for a while now. But I've sort of got a lot going on right now. And I should probably take the time now to admit that I realize I'm not gonna be able to really even get close to 100 this summer. And considering I'm really not going to be able to doing much standup at all once the school year starts, I think it's gonna be best if I just say this is going to be the summer of as many shows I can do, and I'll still do more than most. Admittedly, I won't even be trying to grind it out quite at the level I was. I', gonna have to take a lot of evenings actually to get my first draft done of Alice. But I'll still tell you guys about every show, get video of as much as I can, and continue to have an amazing summer along the way. Sound good? Great!
After I got back from San Diego is was a few days before I was able to make it back out to some shows, do Wednesday night was my first show back.
Show # 36: Pepperbelly's, Fairfield, CA. The first spot was open, of course, so I took it. And I tried a pretty new set. With some new stuff mixed in with some old stuff. Got a pretty good response, I felt. Hung out for a few minutes after my set. But got back in the car pretty quick to get to...
Show # 37: McGrath's Pub, Alameda, CA. Yeah, this is definitely one of my favorite rooms right now. It seems pretty consistantly full with regulars and a good bunch of comics. I don't remember exactly when I went up. 3rd, 4th, 5th? Something like that. But I had a pretty good set. People were laughing. And OJ was hosting. That guy brings so much energy to a room when he's hosting it can't help but be a good night. By the end of the night, everybody was so chill, we ordered some food from La Pinata, Rick closed down the bar and we all hung out for a while. It was a pretty bad ass night, actually. Long, but bad ass.
Show # 38: Purple Onion, San Francisco, CA. Thursday was a different story altogether. I was really excited to be back at the Onion but, to be honest, it was a little disappointing. Not that the night wasn't good and I not that I didn't have a good time and not that I didn't give those 5 minutes my all, and I got a pretty good response from the audience that was there. It just wasn't quite the high of last time. The one really cool thing, my friend Elizabeth, a friend of mine from school, came along to support which I greatly appreciated.
Show # 39: Impala Lounge, San Francisco, CA. Friday night was frickin' awesome. Impala is a really cool room. My buddy and soon to be room mate, Mackie guy, came with. "Bears!" We knew it was going to be a fun night when right before the show started, some off duty day shift strippers walked in and started being really loud. Obviously, they were about to get messed with all night. I went up third and they were still there, so I started doing my fat stuff and waited for them to get loud, then, since we had a cordless mike, I went out and starting messing with them. They were talking to these guys in business suits by the bar, so I mentioned that they were probably looking for a sugar daddy type situation, or at least trying to work some money from these guys and asked if they were aware of the seduction technique known as Whispering. Then I demonstrated the close up, breast graze whisper technique on one of the guys. That shut'em up for a few minutes, but I had to yell at them one more time before my set was up. They left after my set. So Mackie and I hung out the rest of the night. A bunch of the Pepperbelly's comics were there, so it was cool to hang out with those guys in the city for once. So now you guys are all caught up.

Show # 35

Show # 35: Brainwash, San Francisco, CA.  Last night was awesome!  For no other reason than when I got off work, and checked my phone, my friends Kristin and Matt had left me a message saying they wanted to meet me in the city and see a show.  Yay!  So we met at the Brainwash, and as per usual, settled in for the night.  The Brainwash itself was pretty uneventful, though.  I got up about half way through the night, like 9:30ish, and my set went pretty well.  Got a lot of laughs.  Forgot to try out a few tags I'd wanted to throw in(thats why you should always write everything down people) but there will be more shows.  Then, I felt a little bad leaving pretty quick after I went up.  I usually try and hang out for most of the night.  But the prospect of getting home and in bed was just too appealing.  Plus I had to get up early this morning and do some packing and run somme errands and whatnot before I flew out tonight to San Diego for some QT with the fam.  So that means nothing going this weekend, show wise, for me.  But I'll be back at on Monday.  Later.

Favorite line of the night:  "Yeah, I know what ya' mean, man.  My weekend girlfriend sounds like Cleveland from the Family Guy." - Tony Sparks

Shows # 33 & 34

So the Comedy Ride Along was in full effect last night. My friends Cammie and her boyfriend Juan came along. We went and had a little Chinese before and that was delicious. Then we hit the road for...

Show # 33: Pepperbelly's, Fairfield, CA. I was fortunate to get up early again this week. Second to be exact. Although, it was at that point that I realized I forgot my camera, though, so that sortta sucked. Especially cause I was trying new material. And it worked really well. But C'est La Vie. So we all hopped in the car and got on the way to Alameda for...

Show # 34: McGrath's Pub, Alameda, CA. Again, I'm quickly falling in love with McGrath's. The bar was full of people again. All laughing. All the comics there were having fun. Josef Anolin was hosting and he is friggin' hilarious. I tried the same material again, with similar response. A lot of laughs is what I'm saying. Anyways, Cammie and Juan were obviously getting a little tired. I mean it was only almost 1am. Just kidding, I was pretty tired myself. So we took off and headed home, content with 2 shows well performed, listening to Mike Birbiglia. Later.

Favorite line of the night: "Everybody wonders if Gary Coleman died of natural causes, and I am here to answer that question. Gary Coleman died of different strokes. The first was small, but the second was massive." - Josef Anolin

Shows # 30, 31 & 32

So the highlight of the night last night, was that my friend Doris Tetz, whom I always love spending time with, came with on the comedy ride-a-long.  I'm not sure if she realized exactly how long a night it was going to be at the beginning, but she ground it out like pro.  So we met at her hotel in Vallejo and hit the road to...

Show # 30: Tommy T's, Pleasanton, CA.  When we got to Tommy T's, only the 2nd and the 29th spot were still open.  So I, of course, took the 2nd slot.  And I thought my set went alright.  I always feel like I have to bring a lot of energy when I'm early in a show, or when the audience doesn't have much energy, both of which were the case this time.  So, basically I was really loud my whole set.  I did The Perfect Entrance and Billy Mays, which are both a lot of, let's not call it screaming, but loud talking to be sure.  Then we only hung out for one more comic before we were out the door.

Show # 31: Nick's Crispy Tacos, San Francisco, CA.  Got to Nick's and just hung out for a while, got some food, fought a little crime, almost got in a fight.  I had my camera set up, ready to record, and this table in front of Doris and I thought I was taping them and they got all angry.  Then the guy seemed to get angrier when I couldn't stop laughing at the situation.  Fortunately, his wife informed him that it was a funny situation, and he moved on. Again, once Travis got there, my cleanliness got me an early spot.  Also, after I watched the video back I realized that when I was talking about this summer both at Nick's and later at Churchward's, I shorted myself one show.  And there didn't seem to be as many comics at Nick's last night.  Maybe they all came after I left, but definitely a lot of the usuals weren't there.  I did my Bathroom Graffiti set which seemed to get a pretty good response, although I realized after I'd forgotten a whole bit in the middle.  No wonder I came up done with like 2 minutes of time left.  Anyways, again, didn't hang out too long.  We had to get to...

Show # 32: Churchward's Pub, Alameda, CA.  Churchward's started out to be a bit of disaster last night.  We got there, and there were only 3 comics there.  Justin had run out of gas on the way there and Nina had gone to go get him, so Josef Anolin was hosting.  And there was a drunk girl birthday party there, that wasn't happy at all that a comedy show had broken out in the middle of their celebration.  So Josef and the other guy and I each did our thing for a little while.  Not really getting any laughs, and talking over the party in the back.  So then we took a break and waited for Justin and Nina to get there.  Once they got there, Josef went ahead and started the show again.  Then the night turned to a decent night.  I thought I might be able to get up again and count a 4th show, but it started getting pretty late and the bar had to close.  Plus, Big Al and Greg Asdourian showed up, so they ended up closing out the night.  Anyways, tonight, I'm gonna go check out Andrew Moore's improv room, try and get a little improv into this summer.  Later.

Favorite line of the night: "Don't laugh at things that aren't jokes." - Doris Tetz

Shows # 28 & 29

I had a great time tonight!  I started the night with a plan, or more like the hope of a plan, I should say.  The plan was, 1.) Napa Valley Roasting Co. open mike at 6p.  2.) Monkey Club at 8p.  3.)  Hope I could get into Pirate Cat at 10p.  4.) Finally, I thought I heard there was going to be a late night open mike after the show at Il Pirata, at midnight.  Didn't exactly work out that way.  What did happen was...

Show # 28: Napa Valley Coffee Roasting Co., Napa, CA.  I love coming here!  And I felt bad sort of hitting and running there last night, but ya' gotta do what ya' gotta do.  They are always so supportive and ready to laugh there, and I get to put a little spoken word into my summer when I go there.  Plus, who doesn't love being laughed at by hipster high school kids and their parents.  It's like I'm back at summer camp, with caffeine.  I accidently dropped the F bomb at the end of my spoken word piece.  It doesn't really matter a whole lot(and it got a cheer from the hipster high school girls), but there were a few young kids there, and I'd meant to take it out.  Anyways...

Show # 29: Pirate Cat Radio, San Francisco, CA.  As I was leaving the coffee shop, I checked Juan's profile and his status said Monkey Club was cancelled.  So I tried a few leads on rooms I found on sfstandup.com and on openmike.org, but they both turned out to be rooms that didn't actually exist anymore.  So I headed into the city anyways, and went and checked out Impala Lounge, Eric Murphy's room.  Nicole Turley and Nina G were both doing the showcase and having a dual birthday party, so I wanted to stop by and say Happy Birthday(which is to say I wanted cake, especially considering I lost track of time and had to duck out to get to Pirate Cat and forgot to say anything to either of them).  Plus I'd never been, and I'd like to get in there sometime soon.  And it was a pretty cool room.  Right in the center of North Beach, nice stage, hot girls serving drinks.  Ran into Paul Brumbaugh there, too, and I think I am going to be on his radio show in a few weeks, so that'll be cool.  Then I headed over to Pirate Cat.  I was the first person there, besides Greg and Howard, the hosts.  And Greg immediately let me know I was going to get to go up, which made me happy.  Although, they were having some technical issues, so I went up first but it wasn't until like 10:45 or something.  Which turned out to be a good thing, cause it gave time for people to actually show up.  And my set went pretty good, I thought.  Nobody threw Pringles at me or anything, so it seemed a little uneventful.  But the process of wanting to get into a room, and then actually getting into it is always fulfilling, so that felt good.  When the show finished, I sent a text to Heather to see if that Il Pirata late night thing was happening.  She did the show there last night, with Kaseem Bentley and Jabari.  but she said that had just been a rumor, so I hung out with everyone at Pirate Cat for a while then called it quits and headed home.  Not quite the night I was hoping for.  But still pretty damn good.  Later.

Favorite line of the night:  "Oh, you're a software engineer?!  My Iphone has been a little gltichy recently.  Fix it now.  See?  How do you like it, lady?" - Chris Duncan

Show # 27

Show 27: Brainwash, San Francisco, CA. I had a good time tonight. I'm really starting to enjoy the collegial atmosphere going on in a lot of these rooms. So many good, young, and really interesting comics out there right now. Let's just hope they've got the endurance. Some of my favorites, Nina G is one. She's hilarious, she's got really smart humor and she's gorgeous. I might have a little crush on her, actually. She's grinding it out now too. I see her everywhere. And Jesse Elias might be the funniest guy around right now. I've never not seen that kid kill. And the Brain was as full as ever tonight. Heather and I signed up 34th & 36th, so we settled in for the night. I was really glad I brought my computer and my crime fighting tools tonight cause I had a lot of time to kill. I did see one of my favorite routines. I can never remember her name but this lady does this rant as Colonel Jessup from A Few Good Men, if he were a comic. Finally, Tony put me up about 10:45. I did the future/Billy Mays set, again. And it killed, again.
And I found what I think is going to be a really great Tuesday room. An improv show at the Dark Room, run by Andrew Moore, another ridiculously talented guy at so young its disgusting.
Tomorrow should be interesting too. There's a chance of 4 shows tomorrow night. And then on Saturday I'll be in a coma. Later.

Favorite line of the night: The Colonel Jessup routine.

Shows # 25 & 26

Another 2fer tonight! And Team Jesus was back in full effect! Heather carpooled with me and it was good to catch up. I'd definitely missed her. And she let me drive tonight, which was a big step for us. So I picked her up and we headed to...
Show # 25: Pepperbelly's, Fairfield, CA. Best possible scenario tonight at Pepperbelly's. Heather and I got up 1st and 2nd respectively, and both of us did a damn good job tonight warming up the crowd I think. I've been working on this set about the future and some Billy Mays jokes and it has been killing. Then we got outta there quick. Before we left though, Victor was kind enough to tell me the work has been paying off. I tried real quick to get in the showcase this month but its the weekend i'm in San Diego. Oh, well. There will be more. Anyways, on to...
Show # 26: McGrath's Pub, Alameda, CA. Another badass Justin Harrison room! Although OJ was hosting tonight and he did a damn fine job. He set up balloons and streamers and shit. He was tumbling around. It was a fun vibe. And had a friggin' awesome set. I did my mouthchipping a can of Pringles joke, and out of nowhere, someone at the bar throws a minican of Pringles at me. So I mouthchipped it. It made a hell of a mess, but it was comedy gold! I'm gonna have to plant a Pringles thrower at every show now. I thought at first I'd missed the record button, which was heartbreaking, but I got home and there was the footage. The whole thing just goes to show, if there is a god, he definitely a comic. And big news people. Guess who's going back to The Purple Onion! Aug. 19th! Thursday! Big Al's show. He was there tonight so I talked to him and got a spot. I've been wanting to get into a Big Al show for a while, a: cause he's funny, and b: If there's a food chain of the Bay Area comedy scene, Big Al is pretty close to the top of it. Definitely a man whose radar its good to be on. And on that note. Later.
Favorite line of the night: "Dream come true guys! I'm gonna woodchip this can of Pringles." - Yeah I quoted me. So what?

Shows # 23 & 24

Okay, so here's the deal. Last Friday, I tried to go and do Monkey Club and Pirate Cat Radio. Neither worked out. Monkey Club had no audience, or comics for that matter. And Pirate Cat, I thought a voucher from Juan would be enough to get me in, but Greg still wanted to see a set first. But in between, Juan The Comedian, Justin "Is Funny" Harrison, Paul Blumberg, and I sat down and started talking comedy, and just crackin' jokes and whatnot. So Juan threw out a voice recorder and we recorded it. Paul and Juan each have radio shows they do and both are going to air the conversation. Juan on Pirate Cat and Paul on FCC Free Radio(or something like that). When I find out all the details I'll let you guys know. But the show was indeed recorded, and will indeed air twice. which means, Show # 23 & 24? Count it. Later.

The Comedy Ride-A-Long!

So hears the idea.  The life of a comic can be a lonely life...Just kidding.  It can be, but thats not what this is about.  This is about you guys.  One of things I didn't really think about when I started this mission, was the fact that when I'm grinding it out like this, it's hard to tell a big group of people to come see me, when most of the time, I'm not hanging out in any one room for very long.  The answer?  The Comedy Ride-a-Long. Come with me.  For one night, come grind it out with me.  I think you'll have a lot of fun. The most that will be asked of you is to perhaps hold my camera.  I go pretty much every night of the week.  Tuesdays are the only iffy night.  So let me know if you wanna come on a Comedy Ride-a-Long!

Shows # 20, 21 & 22

Last night was intense and it felt pretty badass to be honest with you. Got outta work early so hit the road early and got up 2nd for...
Show # 20: Tommy T's Pleasanton, CA. Practiced my set the whole way down there. Last week, Ed made a point of mentioning that I went over time, so I wanted to make sure I had everything down, so I could get to my punchlines quicker, not ramble so much, and still get the laughs. Compressing a set like that, it really forces me to think about the exact wording and phrasing I use. Trying to figure out if its funnier to say "Masturbate" or "Jerk off" type stuff. Did pretty well, I thought, for an early set. I did my "Dying While Masturbating" rant which is pretty high energy, which I feel is always good early in a night. Hung out for a little after, but hit the road quick for...
Show # 21: Nick's Crispy Tacos, San Francisco, CA. Again, the drive was just me running my material. I had am entire new set of material, which I hadn't done in I don't know how long. So the nerves were up a bit. Plus my premise required some precise explanation, so again, I only have five minutes, so I gotta figure out the best phrasing. The smallest amount of words to explain the most. Sidenote: I'm really starting to love the food at Nick's. I had 2 crispy tacos last night, and they were amazing. And, maybe I'm just really starting to be part of the scene or whatever, but the vibe at Nick's is starting to be really cool, too. A lot of really good comics have been showing up. The place clears out of non-comics pretty quick thought. First few comics had to be clean again, so pretty much guaranteed my early spot. Second, to be exact. And the new stuff kinda worked. It wasn't as funny as it could of been, but I had a couple of people in back in stitches the entire time, so that always feels good. Anyways, got done, worked the room a bit, then got on the road for...
Show # 22: Churchward's Pub, Alameda, CA. Just found out about this room last week. It's run by Justin "Is Funny" Harrison(his real middle name, actually). I've seen him around a few places, the Brain, Pirate Cat, Monkey Club. And he is a really funny guy. In fact, towards the end of the night last night, he got up and he pretty much just worked the room for about 30 min. and killed the whole time. I, however, was first up. Did the same set I did at Nick's and, again, got some pretty good laughs. Polished the end a little bit. I did have a moment, right at the end, where for a brief moment, right in the middle of a sort of ranty Billy Mays impersonation, my mind just went absolutely blank. I watched back the tape it wasn't actually that long, but it felt like frickin' forever. Hung out the rest of night, and sort of fell in love with this room pretty quick. I don't know if it's always like that, but the people in the bar where amazingly responsive. Even hung out after and chilled with the comics for a while. Not too long, though. Not gonna lie. I found a new level of exhaustion last night. I haven't fallen asleep as quickly as I did last night in a while. It felt amazing though. Later.

Favorite line of the night: "So that means, if you're gay and you only like white men, that makes you an asian woman." - Josef Anolin

Show # 19

Show # 19: Brainwash, San Francisco, CA. Last night was pretty damn awesome! First off, on the way down there, I got a call from my Uncle Gary and basically got booked to do a show for the Wolcott family reunion in October. So that's gonna be awesome! I'm going to have to come up with a LOT of really clean material now. Also, my friend Amber joined me on the comedy trail last night, which made me enormously happy. Charlie Ballard was hosting for Tony Sparks, which was different, but cool. I love watching Charlie. He, very good naturedly, makes people as awkward as humanly possible, and its hilarious. But Tony was there, and he even did a set. And my set went pretty well. I was next to last, and there only about 15 people left in the room, but I got some pretty good laughs. So yeah, another good night, I guess. Seems a little repetitive, if you ask me. Later.

Favorite line of the night: "I have rule. I never fake my stutter, or my orgasms, no matter how long either one of those takes." - Nina G

Show # 18

Show # 18: Pepperbelly's, Fairfield, CA. I loved every second of tonight! Well I just had a great day all around to be honest. I went down to Sunnyvale today to spend some time with my friends Kristin & Matt. We just sortta chilled all day, but it was fun. Got stuck in traffic on the way back to Fairfield so I was really late for role call, which meant the end of the line up for me. But Jim Friggin' Smith! came with and hung out all night with me. Personal dream fulfilled - check! And, as per usual at P-bells(the official comics slang for Pepperbelly's, btw), there were a lot of good comics tonight. Plus, I discovered the Pepperbelly's Cheesesteak tonight. A delicious bit of death with fries. Later.

Favorite line of the night: "We had the cheap soda. That soda where the bubbles came in a separate packet like Top Ramen." - D Tyler

Shows # 16 & 17

Show # 16: Tommy T's, Pleasanton, CA. Last night was a 2fer. I got down to Tommy T's and the first four spots were still open, so I got up early and got out. I knew I wasn't gonna win the competition part so as soon my set was over, I said by to the host and got out. Tried a few new jokes. They didn't really work, although hard to tell for sure with a small, fairly non-responsive audience. So anyways, moving on.

Show # 17: Nick's Crispy Tacos, San Francisco, CA. Turns out I didn't really need to get out of Tommy T's so quick cause I was super early to the taco place. So I got some food and chilled. Then I ended up getting the first spot again, when the sheet went out. Which ended up being a pretty cool. THe management wanted to keep it clean for the first little bit, and apparently, I am one of the few comics on the SF scene that doesn't have a problem working clean. So I went up, got the room going pretty well I think. Riffed with Tony and Travis some too, while I was on stage and that went well. Got some laughs, at least. Then I hung out the rest of the night, talked to Tony and Travis some. Going to have to sit down with Tony soon and get some real knowledge about the business and how to make my stuff funnier. I think he'd probably have some good advice for me. Anyways, a good night all around. A little tiring, driving all over the place and whatnot, but I enjoyed every minute of it. Later.

Favorite line of the night: "Why didn't you shave? The rug burn is killing me!" - Taylor Kafara(I really gotta start finding out how to spell people's names before I go and quote them.)

Show # 15

Show # 15, Monkey Club, San Francisco, CA I had a really interesting night tonight. The open mic portion of the night was the epitome of grind it out comedy. Six or seven comics, the host, and an empty room. But everyone did their thing and the show turned out to be a pretty good time. Then, as everyone was chatting after, I began to hear talk of a possible 2nd show, only a block away, at the Pirate Cat radio cafe. So I went down to check it out, and sure enough. Its a radio station, with a cafe, that hosts and simultaneously broadcasts a comedy showcase on Friday nights at 10p on 87.9 fm. The only thing is that you have to have clean material, which really only means no cussing. Now I'm not trying to brag or get on high horse or anything, but after all these comics in the show, who knew the rule before they made the effort to get in the show in the first place, then not only complained about it, but actually struggled to keep it, made them all just seem a little ridiculous. Not to take anything away from their humor. They were all really funny, but if a comic can't work clean then I don't really understand the point. I mean maybe if they're not in it for the money or something like that. But we all know its a fact that to get any real radio or television time we have to be able to work clean. So basically, I'm saying these people need to suck it up, tell some jokes without dropping the F bomb, and move on with their lives. Sorry got off a tangent there. Anyways, I think I might be able to get into that show on a regular basis, so that'll give me two shows every Friday for a while. Plus got an invite to a show next month in Fairfax at Chris Duncan's room, so that'll be cool. Then hung out with Juan the Comedian for a while after, too. He hosts the Monkey Club open mike. So yeah, good night, overall. Later.

Favorite line of the night: "Where are you guys going? Why'd you put away your Scrabble?" - Juan the Comedian.

Show # 14

Show # 14: Brainwash, San Francisco, CA - Tonight felt good.  I got out of work late and didn't end up getting to the Brain until almost 8p.  But the list was shorter than usual(still around 30 comics though) and Tony was nice enough to let me go up early.  I did my set about my sister's lymphoma again.  Just wanted to see how it would play in another room.  And then I didn't really hang out too much afterwards either.  Heather and Zach drove down separate and they were gone almost as soon as Heather and I were done.  And I'd gotten run a little at work so I jetted out pretty quick myself.  Not a very eventful night, really.  Still, felt good though.  I'd been away from the Brain for two weeks and I had definitely missed the place.  Later.

Favorite line of the night: "So are you screwing the clown?  We all wanna know." - Chris Sherpicase(I know for a fact I didn't spell that right.)

Show # 13

Show # 13 - Pepperbelly's, Fairfield, CA. So I've been away for a while. A combination of lack of transportation and focusing getting some writing done. I'm working on an original stage adaption of Alice in Wonderland, to be performed next spring at PUC & I needed to make some head way on that. Also, bittersweet news, one of my best friends, Mei Ann Teo, whom I love and adore and would anything for, has just left the country for a few months to visit family and do some work in China, and I will miss her dearly. However, she is kind enough to lend me the use of car while she is gone. So the grind-it-out portion of the some has officially begun. That being said, I sortta felt like I was just going thru the motions tonight. I didn't really think about what set I was gonna do until late in the evening, and I hadn't really gone over it all before I got up. Also, I was up third, and the crowd hadn't really warmed up yet, so not a lot of laughs either(sure, blame the crowd, right? maybe I just wasn't funny....nah). The reason I was up so early, though? Because last night was Heather's first night back. So to celebrate, we got tix to go see comedy genuis, Maria Bamford at the SF Punchline. I hadn't seen her live before and she didn't disappoint. There was uproarious laughter on my part, to say the least. So all in all, a pretty good night back out on the comedy trail. Later.

Favorite line of the night - "Hey, I don't wanna get all political on you guys, but where do you stand on dressing your dogs?" - Maria Bamford

Show # 12

Show # 12: Pepperbelly's, Fairfield, CA. Last night was interesting. I wanted to take a chance last night. I wanted to go up with something I wasn't sure would work and just see what would happen. So I decided to talk about my sister's, Sarah, Lymphoma year. Now that's a really hard set to actually gauge how well it goes over, cause there's only a few punchlines. And the rest is all talk about cancer, which nobody wants to laugh at. None the less, I felt good about last night. There was a weird crowd there from the begining, 45 min. early in fact. It was a bunch of old white people. Like Uncle Jesse, Dukes of Hazzard old. Not a demographic you see at the open mikes very often. But I felt like they appreciated the change of pace. I got a couple of, "Thank you for sharing,"'s afterward from them.
I also had a couple of comics call me out on my current pace of shows. And they were right. I'm not on pace right now. I'll hit my stride soon, though. Next show is Friday, I think. Unless I can figure out a way into the city tonight. But Steve Danner and I are gonna go check out Woody's BBQ in Oakland on Friday. Should be a good time. Later.

Favorite line of the night: As Christopher Walken "Being gay is just like opening a can of Pringles.  Once you pop....you just can't stop sucking cock." - David Lew

Show # 11

Show # 11: Napa Valley Coffee Roasting Co., Napa, CA. So coffee shop open mikes have always sort of been a guilty pleasure of mine. For a lot of reasons. One, I'm usually the only comic at most of them, as was the case tonight. They consist of mostly musical acts, but a lot of spoken word as well. So I don't have to worry about working the room or getting seen, or even the "light" usually, and I can just focus on having fun and making people laugh. Two, maybe my life is more saturated with live comedy than most, so the variety of performances are always a nice change of pace for me. Three, without exception, they always seem so much more accepting and supportive than most strictly comedy rooms. Four, there are usually some kids or families at these open mikes so its a good place to get some experience and build confidence using clean material. And five, I get to do some of my spoken word.
But back to tonight, the guy that went before me did a monologue from a play he is doing about the death of his five month old daughter. And he didn't let us know until the very end so we, well I did at least, thought he was just sharing...a lot. And then I had to get up and tell jokes. But it turned out that humor was exactly what the room wanted after that. So I did "Food Accidents" and they ate it up. Then, I closed with my spoken word piece, "Seth's Story." That was the first time I'd performed that since "This Adventist Life" and it felt good to dust it off, I'm not gonna lie though, it felt a little weird without, and I definitely missed Natalie's voice, singing behind me.
Overall, it sort of felt like a night off tonight. I was there in 10 min. on my bike. I was home by 9:15. But still, show # 11? Count it! Later.

Favorite line of the night: "You realize you're going to have to perform comedy after this?" - Alex Shantz

Show # 10

Show # 10, Brainwash, San Francisco, CA: Finally into double digits!! Yay!  I feel like that might have taken a little longer than I would have liked but thats cool. One tenth of the way there!

Tonight was really cool though.  I was really out of it by the time I got up.  I worked yesterday and I fought a lot of crime before I got up, so it might not have been the best performance of my life, but I still got some laughs and at least I got up.  When Heather and I signed up we were 41st and 42nd on the list, and I think we both assumed we wouldn't be getting up last night.  But what was really cool is there was press there last night.  Someone from the Contra Costa Times was there taking pics and video all night.  They are doing a story on the comedy scene in the bay area right now and I think its fair to say that can't be done without talking about the Brainwash.  But anyways, Tony was making sure all the best people(regulars) were getting up and, for the most part, everyone that got up made sure to bring it.  So yeah, it was definitely a good show and a good vibe in the room last night.

Tonight. I'm gonna bring the 100 shows to the valley and hit up the open mike at the Napa Valley Coffee Roasting Co. in Napa.  It's a mixed open mike so it should be an interesting night.  I might even bring a little spoken word at the end.

Favorite line of the night: "I like my women like I like my construction zone violations...double fine." - Sammy Franco

Show # 9

Pepperbelly's, Fairfield, Ca: Tonight was good. I didn't think it was gonna be all day. In fact I really didn't feel like going to the comedy club tonight. I forgot to email Victor on Monday so I thought I'd have to go up really late. I was really tired all day, didn't real feel like telling jokes. But I got there and during role call, nobody was taking the early spots so I went up 4th. I was polishing my masturbation material tonight(teehee) and it really worked tonight. Heather said she thought I was the first comic tonight to warm up the crowd. So yeah, I always feel a certain sense of accomplishment when I know I'm not feeling it, but I still get up and I still get laughs. Makes me feel like a real comic. Then Heather went up 11th and had a really good set, then we were both pretty tired so we peaced-out quick after she got done. So tomorrow night I gotta bring my A game at the Brainwash. I don't know why. Tony said he couldn't tell us last week why we had too, but he definitely said to bring our best stuff. So I will, and we'll see what happens. I'm off to my bed now. Later.

Favorite line of the night: "I wanna see that pizza walk up here again. Then when you grab it, a midget appears." - Steve Danner

Show # 8

Show # 8 - The Purple Onion, San Francisco, CA. What an amazing night! I don't even know where to start. The room itself was maybe the coolest part of the whole thing. The Purple Onion is a pretty historic stage. George Carlin, The Smothers Brothers, Phyllis Diller have all performed there. Richard Pryor recorded his first album there. And now...Tim Wolcott! Also to be in the show with Heather meant a lot. We went up 3rd and 4th and I feel like we both killed! I closed with my Adventism stuff and it was the 1st time I've performed that bit in front of actual Adventists which was pretty cool. Especially since my people made up about 1/4th of the room(and took up the whole front row cause that's the way my people roll) so it was like having a laugh guaruntee. The fact that so many came out for me meant a lot too. I've got some awesome friends. And it was a solid night all round. Griffin Daley and Roman Leo both brought a lot of funny. And, of course, Jabari Davis headlined and everybody loved him too. Plus I got paid, in actual money. Not in food or alcohol. First time that's happened. So yeah, definitely a night I will never forget. Big thanks to everyone that came out to support! I love you all! Later.
Favorite line of the night: Me - "Should we go left or right on Van Ness?" Mackie - "Joel says go west so according to my phone north is right...well that can't be right." - Derek Mackie

Show #'s 6 & 7

Okay, so I know I'm a little behind, but in my defense I've had a hell of a run recently. In the past 11 days I have worked 9 days, got 4 shows under my belt, went and saw 2 more, and went to a wedding, so yeah, its been a little hectic.
Show # 6 - Pepperbelly's, Fairfield, CA. I rode along with Steve Danner on Wednesday. I don't know if you'd call what I did bombing, but it was close. I was working on my Adventist stuff, cause I wanted to do that set at the Purple Onion on Saturday, but I don't think anyone there on Wednesday could relate to it. I saw a lot of awkward smiles, but no laughs. One moment of note, I entered the Bay Area Laugh Off, a comedy competition Pepperbelly's is hosting later this summer. More on that when I know more.
Favorite Line of the night: "Are you a triceratops or a tricerabottom? I'm not a herbavore but I'm a himavore!" - Dave Thomason
Show # 7 - Brainwash, San Francisco, CA. I loved everything about Thursday. I went up really late, like 11:30, and it was really just comics left. I started my set with my Perfect Entrance routine, which is pretty close to my favorite bit to do. It's really high energy, and as long as I'm actually giving it my all, the crowd usually responds, and they did on Thursday too. In fact, on Friday I went to check out the show at the Onion, just to check out the room, and I ran into Chris Duncan, another really funny guy that comes to the Brain, and he'd been there on Thursday and he told me he'd been telling his friends about it. Then I tried out some new stuff that I'd been thinking about for the Onion and it worked pretty well too. Then after the show I talked to Tony Sparks and told him about my D4A! hosting and he told he'd probably use me in a couple of weeks! So I might have some hosting gigs coming. Fingers crossed!
Favorite line of the night: "Don't get me wrong, I'm not gay. But I am a brother that likes to read...in public. While eating a blueberry scone and drinking a chai latte." - Jabari Davis

Show # 5

Nick's Crispy Tacos, San Francisco, CA - Tonight started out rough. Just getting there involved a plan C, I think it was. Once I finally got there, and the show finally started, things got better. The room itself is organized and run by the very funny Travis Curry. And its hosted by Tony Sparks, so winner winner chicken dinner. Inside, the whole place is deep red and it looks like a taco truck crashed into the front of a burlesque bar. I went up 8th or 9th out of around 20. And I got some laughs from a crowd that hadn't really been laughing that much. And I tried a few new jokes that went over pretty well, I think. So that was cool. And a few moments of note on and off stage as well tonight. One, I busted out the horny parakeet for the first time on a comedy stage tonight. And two, just as I was leaving, Tony Sparks asked me if I've ever done any hosting. I told him I'd done a little (once) hosting. He said he wants to see me work a little more but he might have some work for me. So, very interesting indeed. I'm gonna talk to him on Thursday and tell him about my hosting of the D4A! shows as well. Who knows what can happen? Next show: Tomorrow night. I'm either gonna go to Tommy T's in Sac or plan B, go into the city again and see what I can find.
I should thank my friends Chris and Jenn for letting me borrow their car for the week! Yeah! So thanks, Chris and Jenn!
Alright. I'm gonna go to bed now. Later.

Favorite line of the night: "I asked God the difference between him and me. And he said, 'Nobody believes in you.' " - Vladimir Khylil

Mike Birbiglia

Like I said yesterday, I went to one of my heroes last night at the San Jose Improv, and I just wanted to say... Mike Birbiglia is the funniest, realest comic there is right now! There. I said it. Have a good day people!

Show # 4

Last night was a good night. Pepperbelly's is always a good time, though. I'd planned to plug my Purple Onion show at the end the end of my set. I'd brought tickets to sell and everything. But I closed with a joke I didn't really want to hang out on stage after and completely forgot. Fail!
What I love about Pepperbelly's is the amount of really good comics that show up. Last night a bunch of SF comics carpooled out to the show and they all had really good sets. One of them, Roman Leo is going to be in the Purple Onion show with Heather and I. He's a really funny guy and he's got the best terrorist beard I've ever seen. Heather had a really good set too. She did her set about running into an ex-lover at his wedding. She said afterwards she hadn't really been feeling it before hand but that set was one she felt the most comfortable with. And I gotta say, she went up early, 4th to be exact, and she definitely got the crowd warm and laughing.
The other cool thing about last night was David Lew, he's one of the guys that helped start the Pepperbelly's open mic and now he has some sort of official position at the club, not sure exactly what it is, but he sure does it. Anyways, he starting handing out entry forms for a six week comedy competition they are doing this summer. And the winner is gonna get paid, like a grand. Yeah, son!
There weren't any fights or anything this week, just a lot of good comedy, which personally, I prefer. Not sure when show # 5 is gonna be actually. Tonight, Heather and I are skipping Brainwash and heading to San Jose to see Mike Birbiglia, one of my comedy gurus, at the Improv. Then on Sat. my buddy Matt is getting married, so that should be a good night. I might be able to find a show Friday or Sunday night, but maybe not til Monday. Yikes!
Favorite Line of the night: "...and the sheets were all red, and you told the maid it was grape juice, like we'd been having slushy fight." - Heather Isaacs Royce

Show # 3

I don't really know what to say about show # 3. It wasn't a great night but it wasn't a horrible one either. Tommy T's was a new room for me and to be honest I was fully expecting to leave not having enjoyed myself. For two reasons. One: Its a pay to play room. $5 to get on stage. I understand the place has to make money but most comics are pretty broke and after driving the hour and half to Pleasonton the idea of then having to pay to perform doesn't really make my socks roll up and down. Two: Its a competition open mic and the winner can get up to $100 of the door. Sounds great right? Bullshit! In open mic competitions the winner is almost always picked by the audience. Post hoc ergo propter hoc, unless you have the funniest 4 minutes in the history of comedy, or have something that sets you apart (like being an actual kid or being a cute little blond girl that only tells jokes about how much she loves bjs) he or she who brings the people wins. Last night there was a kid who was getting up for the 1st time but he also brought his high school and extended family. So guess who was in the top 5 at the end of the night.
Before I continue, cause I realized I'm sounding a little bitter, overall I was happy with last night. I got a pretty good response from people during my set. Dwight, my roommate, came with and watched. He's been talking about trying to tell jokes for a while now and I think watching 30 comics mechanically crammed into 3 hours, most of whom were either bad, drunk, or first timers, helped him realize that the only things you need to do this are mildly amusing jokes and confidence. And there were other bright spots. The kid, literally, that ended up winning was a regular there. A 13 yr old named Joey Braggs. And he was the funniest there. He had timing, well written jokes, and confidence. So yeah, overall I'll give show #3 a 6 out of 10. Show #4: Pepperbelly's on wed. Later.
Favorite line: "When I was 8, I learned that cock meant penis. Then I heard about cockfighting, and it scared the hell outta me." - Joey Braggs

John Leguizamo...

...is a genius! His hilarity, combined with his natural story telling ability and his honesty and self awareness in his act was quite frankly an education. So yeah, I had a hell of a time last night. And it probably didn't hurt any that I was a little toasty off free tequila by the time the show started. Hey-o! Or that I was with three of the coolest people I know. Mei, Doris and Alex. Then after the show we all went and got hot dogs and frozen yogurt. Mmmm....frozen yogurt! I love frozen yogurt but it seems like every place I've had it, I end up getting about twice as much as I actually want. I think all these yogurt places should get together and standardize their portions or something. Think how much froyo we could save. It'd be good for the environment which means the terrorists would lose. Anyways, got a little rambly there. So big thanks to Doris and Mei and Alex for an amazing night. Later.

Morning!

I forgot to mention last night that the ticket I'm selling for the June 26 show at The Purple Onion came yesterday. They're so pretty. So if anyone wants to meet up with me and get a few let me know. You can also get them online @ www.brownpapertickets.com/event/111895. Let me know if you get some online too, just so I can keep track of and get credit for whoever I get through the door.
On the bus now, heading into work at Cindy's then Johnny Legz tonight. Have a great day everybody.

Show # 2

So I just have to say, this comedy thing is much more fun, and so much easier with a support group. Tonight Heather and I hooked up with Steve Danner, another really funny Napa comic, and Jeremiah Brashears, a funny man from Vacaville, and car pooled into SF to the Brainwash.
Now I gotta take a minute and tell you guys about the Brainwash. It's a cafe/laundrymat on Folsom. And there's live entertainment every night of the week. And it seems like every comic in the bay area goes through there on Thurs. nights. The list is usually between 30 & 40 comics long. But the food is good and the grind aspect of it is quickly forgotten when Tony Sparks takes the mike. I don't know how he does it, but the man, "good people," knows how to keep a room pumped up and excited.
So anyways, we got there and we were 27 - 30 on the list, so we settled in, got some food, some of us fought a little crime. I think I even catnapped in the corner for a minute. Then we all went up and, to be honest, we all did really well I think. I went first and worked on the same material from last night and it got a lot of laughs. Then Heather went up and had the crowd laughing. Then Jeremiah. Jeremiah's got this abortion joke that I think is friggin' hilarious, but it only works if there's not any Raider fans in the audience. Fortunately, any that were there tonight also had a sense of humor cause it killed. Then Steve pretty much killed it too. We hung out the rest of the night and it turned into the SF comedy all stars to wrap it up. Charlie Ballard, Jabari Davis, Big Al Gonzales, Kaseem Bentley. And those are just the names I can remember.
So show #2 - Success! Not planning to get up again til Monday, but I'm gonna go see John Leguizamo tomorrow. Free tequila tasting before the show too. Its going to be an awesome night I think. So that's it for me tonight. Later, peeps!
Show #3 - Tommy T's in Pleasonton. 8pm I think.
Favorite line of the night: "Meg Whitman is so rich she has Faberge ovaries." - Jesse Elias

Show # 1

Pepperbelly's Open Mic - Holy Crap! Tonight was nuts! There was so much good and crazy going on its a little unbelievable. It seemed like every comic there tonight was on their game. People where trying out new material, taking chances. And there was a lot of just audience there, which is always cool to see at an open mic. I went up 6th, whiched turned out to be pretty early since the list was 20 comics long tonight. I tried out some new stuff about guys peeing outside(video soon, btw). I think it worked all right. Just needs some polish is all. Victor, he's the guy who hosts the show, a really good guy, really funny too. He said he doubts that I'll make 100, which just goes to show he don't know Tim Wolcott. And there was a fight! A tussle! A battle if you will! Some drunk Mexican guy was starting shit back by the bar. People got riled up!
I should tell you guys about Heather now. Heather Isaacs Royce. An hilarious comic and the other half of what we like to call Team Jesus. She and her husband, Zach, are really great friends. Heather and I got each others back, we keep each other motivated. Its really awesome. She's been doing standup since Feb. I think, and she's got a long career in front of her if she wants it. Anyways, she had a really good set tonight too. She has this set about getting fired from being missionary that cracks me up everytime. Anyways, its getting late. So yeah, recap: good night, good comics, all good things. Next show: Tomorrow night, Thurs. Brainwash on Folsom in SF. The open mic starts at 7p.

Favorite line of the night: "I am the drunk whisperer." - Steve Danner

Welcome to The Summer of 100 Shows

Hello.  My name is Timothy Wolcott and I'm a comic.  Of the standup variety.  And this summer I am on a mission.  100 Shows or bust.  I don't know how long or where its going to take me, all I know is that I am going to push as hard as I can, going as much as I possibly can, until...no never mind until.  I am never going to stop pushing as hard as I can.  There's to much to take out of this life to stop and take a break between goals.  So keep reading people!  Its going to be awesome!  Some highlights to look forward to: 

Show Number 1 - TOMORROW NIGHT!! 6/9 Pepperbelly's Open Mic, Fairfield, CA 8:15p.

Sat. June 26 8pm  Jabari Davis & Associates Live at the Purple Onion.

More to come!!